Repentance of a mother

When I first decided to quit my job 4 years ago, it was to coach DS when he stepped into formal schooling in P1. Perhaps it was the urge to connect to the outside world, I started venturing into my areas of interest, first was baking, then gardening. I didn't have to handle much housework then as I had a maid. Life was really "enjoyable".

I couldn't recall much in the aspect of coaching DS except for those last minute coaching sessions before the exams. Those were always the stressful periods for both DS and me. It was often discovered then that he had not understood the concepts well, but we ran out of time to clear all the doubts accumulated through the whole year. With these last minute cramming, he managed to scrap through the lower primaries. But as he progressed higher, these sessions were not as effective.

At the end of each exam period, I would "resolve" to spend more time coaching DS so that we would not repeat those last minute studies again. But history kept repeating itself for the past 3 years. It seemed like I was trapped in a Genjutsu (those who watch Naruto would know what I mean), unable to break free from it.

Two weeks before the March school holidays this year, I finally woke up. It was a magical and unexplainable experience. It felt like I had been totally changed after I woke up one morning. Suddenly I became very concerned about DS's results. Most of the times, my mind would be occupied with loads of plans on how to improve his results. Recently I also started preparing my 2 girls so that they would not end up like their brother when they enter primary school in 2-3 years time. Overnight, I turned from a "bo chap" mother to a "kia si" mother.

I am glad I finally wake up after these years. Hopefully it's still in time. Now the challenge is to keep the passion going for the next few years, till all the kids have finished their primary educations. It's a long journey ahead.